Intro

Sith Ship

Welcome to the Dark Side, a site intended to be an online community for those who thought Darth Vader was the best character in the original films, cheered when the TIE fighters took out Rebel ships, and wondered if the Rebel troops on Princess Leia’s ship in Episode IV were wearing salad bowls on their heads.

This site intends to further the appreciation of George Lucas’ “antiheroes”, and to point out that the Dark Side isn’t so bad after all, indeed, preferable to its opposite.
Why prefer the Empire and the Sith to the Rebels and the Jedi? Very simple really:

• Jedi Contradictions – “anger, fear, aggression, the Dark Side are they”, Yoda said in The Empire Strikes Back. He also said, “A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and events, never for attack.” Yet when you pick up a lightsaber, you’re not likely to be doing it to tickle your opponent. This lack of Jedi honesty and coherence extends into other areas: for example, Obi Wan Kenobi thought it was perfectly acceptable to say that Lord Vader had murdered Anakin Skywalker, when indeed, they are one and the same person. His rationalisation for this lie was about as weak as an ex-President quibbling over the meaning of “is”.

• Back to the Bad Old Days? – The full name of the Rebellion is “The Alliance to Restore the Republic”. As we have seen from the prequels, the Republic was saddled with a bloated bureaucracy, endemic corruption, and it didn’t even have a standing army to defend itself, rather was relying on at most, a few thousand Jedis wandering around a galaxy of quadrillion citizens to keep order. Basically, the Rebels wanted to go back to a system that didn’t work.

• Rebel Incompetence – Critics say that the destruction of Alderaan shows the Empire to be malevolent. However it should be kept in mind that Princess Leia was either lying or incompetent in saying Alderaan was defenceless. If she was lying, then Alderaan was a nest of enemy activity. If Alderaan was indeed undefended, she was apparently too self-involved to consider the consequences of running around supporting the Rebellion: she did not prepare her people at all.

• Rebel Weirdness – the Jedi hid Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker, brother and sister, from their natural father after their birth. If their kiss in the Empire Strikes Back is any indication, the kids grew into being potential guests for the Jerry Springer show. No thank you.

• Taste – Which looks better, an X-Wing fighter or a TIE fighter; or to put it another way, which one would you rather use to pick up your date? Which likely has the cleaner restrooms: a Star Destroyer maintained to Imperial standards or the Millenium Falcon, maintained by that paragon of housekeeping, Han Solo? How would you rather be dressed, in Imperial or Rebel uniforms? Which leader is less opulent and silly looking, the Emperor or Queen Amidala in full Geisha mode?

• An End to Cuteness – from Jar Jar Binks to the Ewoks, the Rebels & Jedi have the monopoly on “cute” (meaning: extremely annoying) characters. They are welcome to it.